In an unsettling twist that seems ripped from a Kafka novel, the University of Kentucky College of Law is currently grappling with a cockroach infestation of epic proportions. This is not the usual metaphorical "bugs" one might expect in legal discourse—these are real, live cockroaches making themselves at home in the halls of academia.

The infestation has reached such critical levels that law school officials have instituted a “roach log” to monitor and manage the burgeoning population of these unwelcome guests. It appears the situation is dire enough that Orkin, the school's pest control contractor, has had to increase its visits from monthly to weekly in an effort to keep up with the escalating crisis.

According to a memo from the Senior Assistant Dean of Community Engagement, the return of the cockroaches had been anticipated post the 2019 building renovations, reminiscent of a "Victorian ghost" haunting the institution. The situation has escalated to the point where frequent sightings are no longer just nuisances but significant disruptions.

In the grand tradition of academic resilience, students and faculty are advised to diligently report any and all sightings of cockroaches and other pests to assist Orkin in their battle against the insects. The community is encouraged to contribute to the roach log, which tracks these sightings throughout the building.

This pest problem adds a layer of horror to the already daunting challenges of law school, from rigorous academic demands to the specter of student debt. With an atmosphere more akin to a slow-motion horror film than a place of learning, one must wonder how this will impact the law school's ability to attract new students.

As the University of Kentucky College of Law continues its fight against these resilient invaders, the community holds its breath and hopes for a swift resolution. Meanwhile, the roach log remains a bizarre testament to a unique challenge facing an esteemed institution.